Wednesday, January 18, 2012

In My Time of Dying

  
On the white sheets,

They feel rough but at the same distant.

My hands were in the air,

Being supported by other ones,

My mind illusion them to be mini crutches.

I can’t see the faces that stand in front of me,

Like blobs of color from the paintings of Picasso.


I suddenly felt my subconscious drift to the air,

Leaving the body intact but still holding on to it.

Words float and drift away to the bright white room:

Blank,

Dark,

Seething,

Crying,

The words stick and poison myself,

Tasting a bit of vile with each word.


Then,

Words from the blobs come into the boundaries:

Open,

Full,

Light,

Happy…



My brain spins,

It rotates like Pluto,

Spinning,

Leisurely,

Relaxing,

But it’s slowly getting distant,

Disappearing.



Suddenly,

I hear something buzz in my ears,

Not like a bee,

Nor like a broken television,

But a low buzz that sounds soothing.

                             My mind knew it was breaking down.

Like a vein exploding by heart failure.


Then,

Like they were called,

The spirits come with open arms,

But the Wil-O-Wisps just stared.


My mind spilled and floated more away,

Fading,

Like stars who lost their lights.



Flowers,

Balloons,

Friends,

Family,

Him.


These words I grasp as I lye down.

My hands resting,

My eyes closing,

My voice fading.


I feel like a robot in need of repairs,

Broken,

Still.

Alone…

Forgotten,

For I’m hiding under the bed of angels,

They don’t notice me.

They fly away when I reach.

My friends gone.

Family far away like my body.

I only hear the buzz again,

Turning into a soft voice.

Whispering,

Telling me,

Go

Go

Go

Go

Go



Gone.

2 comments:

  1. Dina... oh Dina. That was bringing me on the edge of salt water running through mine eyes. That was beautiful, but you are somehow worrying me.

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    1. Oh I'm sorry. I actually wrote on this poem for a couple of days. I was writing towards to you. It was actually for you in a way. It was the poem that if I could, I would had said it at the thing. Don't worry! I'm not thinking of dying, but I had to somehow let the bad feelings out of me.

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